Monday, November 26, 2012

One Month.


Today, my day was supposed to be spent trying to get a “1” sticker centered on a tiny onesie.  I should be taking literally a million pictures trying to get Elliston to look at the camera and have both bright eyes wide open, while saying her name in an ungodly high pitched voice.  Calling her every name that even remotely goes along with hers and even some that don’t.  Elliston, Ellie, Ellie Rae, Ellie Boo Boo, Ellie Bear, Rae Bear, Ellie Bean, pretty much any word with “bean” after it…. You get the point.  I had her perfect one month outfit hung up near the front of her long line of clothes in her closet.  I knew how I wanted her monthly pictures taken and what I wanted to do with the 12 pictures Id have when she turned 1 year.  But instead….today, I am sitting by myself drinking my starbucks.  I feel like I dry swallowed a huge pill and its still stuck in my throat.  This weekend I have been completely overcome with guilt.  Why didn’t I think to ask for more monitoring?  Why didn’t I go to the er when I hadn’t felt movement rather than thinking she was just big and didn’t have much room….or she was sleeping….or any of the other completely normal things that happen in the last few weeks?  I am the only person who could have said, “This doesn’t feel right, something is wrong.”  How could I have not known what was happening?  I do know that this is not my fault….but I also know that I am the only one that could have prevented this.  I did tell my doctor I felt decreased movement, and even though everything they checked came back normal…..what if I wouldn’t have been ok with that answer?  How do I come to terms with the fact that I will probably ask myself these questions for the rest of my life? 

She is so perfect.  I miss her more than I ever could have imagined.  I am filled with so much love for this little person.  It is strange to have such an intense love, while at the same time feeling such ugly, dark emotions as well. But today….when she would have been one month old….I choose to focus on the love.  That’s not to say there wont be tears.  I can barely see through them to type.  But for today, I wont blame myself.  She has made me a better person, a better wife, and a better mommy to our future children. 

I love you Ellie Rae. 



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