Nothing can erase what has happened, can bring Elliston back, and take away our pain. My body just had a baby. Even though she was not alive in the end, she was alive for 9 months and I delivered her. Therefore, all of the physical things after birth, still happened. I was given some great advice, which I believe totally saved my sanity.
First, and I will tell this to any pregnant woman who will listen, Placenta Encapsulation. Go ahead. Call me a hippie. When Colby and I first met with our doula to “interview” her, we said, “We see on your website that you do stuff with placentas. We don’t even want to talk about that. We are NOT into that.” She said ok, and never brought it up again….until we did. I had heard stuff about it and continued to hear and read more and more. When we were ready, we talked with her about it and researched some more. Here is our doulas website where she gives some info about it.
I came home from the hospital Saturday night and she came over Sunday morning with my pills. I took 2 pills, 2 times a day. I have had no other babies, so I don’t know what postpartum feels like. I know its different for everyone and every pregnancy is different. And I also know its potential. I never felt my hormones were off balance at all. I was grieving the loss of our daughter, in a very real way….but very present. I had energy. And as terrible a situation, and considering I did just give birth….I felt good. I encourage you to at least look into it. I will do this going forward with all of our children.
Second, a doula. The word doula is Greek for “Woman’s Servant”. Nice, huh?
We were intending to have a natural, drug free, delivery. I believed that for me, having a doula was key to being able to do this. Amanda ended up being greater than I could have ever imagined. She came to our house a few times before our due date. I emailed her and text her all the time with questions or just updated on our appointments, ultrasound pics, etc. Obviously, things did not go as planned…..but she was still such a comfort and help in the hospital with Elliston’s birth and quite honestly ever since. She has become a dear friend, and will be involved in the birth of all of our children in the future. Whether we are induced, have a c-section, or decide again for a natural delivery….she’ll be with us. If you are in the phoenix area, her website is http://www.heavensentdoulas.com/Doula_Services.php
Third, sage pills. Amanda is also a herbalist. As unfortunate as it is, just because I didn’t have a baby to nurse, didn’t stop my milk from coming in. She brought over some sage pills along with my placenta pills. She said sage helps dry up the milk. I have heard stories of people leaking milk for up to 6 weeks after their stillbirth. Seriously, its so cruel. I started taking the sage pills immediately on Sunday. The hospital had told me about putting cabbage on “the girls”….but that just smelled like a gross fart. So that did not last long. I started leaking on Tuesday, but that only lasted for about a day, and that was it. If anyone, for any reason, decides to not breastfeed, please suggest to them sage. It worked for me. That was one issue that I did not want to deal with, and luckily didn’t have to that much.
Fourth, and so simple…..open the blinds every morning. Thank you God we live in Arizona where it is pretty much sunny every single day! At the advice of “New Friend Jen”, starting our first morning at home, I would get up and open all the blinds. Even if I got back in bed, I would open them all. The sunlight was so healing. I should be saying “is”. I still do this every day.
Those are just a few of the helpful tools I have had to help me these past few weeks. I cant imagine how different it could have been without them.