Thursday, May 2, 2013

It really is a miracle

Almost two weeks ago, I witnessed the birth of my great nephew.  That is seriously so embarrassing to say.  My baby nephew (21) and his girlfriend Samantha brought into this world the sweetest little boy, Mr. Jameson Thomas.  I definitely shocked myself with how comfortable I was with being there.  I did not intend to be in the room….but it was going so beautifully, I think my mind needed to see a birth go correctly.  To go just the way it was intended.  I only had one “moment”.  The moment Jameson was born and cried for the first time.  My mind literally paused for a moment and I wished to know the cry of my daughter.  I think that’s normal and understandable.  I didn’t try to grab Jameson and run, so Id say it was a success.  J 
I don’t have a problem with pregnant people.  I don’t even have a problem with babies.  None of them are Elliston.  In some situations, I have had to give myself a little pep talk before hand so I can act normal.  Of course, little girls make me wonder.  It may make me sad, just thinking about if Elliston would have hair like that.  Or if Elliston would like peas now like that little girl.  I have read lots of stories, and completely understand how it happens, of women isolating themselves from anything having to do with babies and children.  For some reason, that has not been a huge issue for me.  Not that I haven’t had the feelings.  I just don’t sit there.  I think the main issue for me is baby girl showers.  Something about them just reminds me of mine and how blissfully unaware I was that day of what was to come.  Either way, Elliston was celebrated and loved and put on display to everyone watching the ultrasound that day just how stubborn she was.  And that she loved The Foo Fighters.  Seriously!  She would not turn her head so we could see her face.  After 45 minutes of sweet talking and sugar and juice, Colby put headphones on my stomach and turned on Foo Fighters and she turned and smiled…..well yawned and then a little something I like to think was a smile  J

Birth.  It really is a miracle.  Thank you God for the opportunity to see it go perfectly.